Plainclothes guy

I'm a Dad!

2007-01-09T00:02:00.000-11:00

Well shit...I'm a Dad!! What a ride. Phew....ok, to details.

We arrived at Hospital about 8 pm on 7 Jan for a planned inducement. Our baby was a week over due and it was felt there was no reason to let it go on further. We tried to get some sleep in the delivery suite, but neither of us got more than a couple of hours as she had too much backache and both of us were too wound up.

About 4am-ish she started to get weak and intermittent contractions and by 5:30 was fairly well on the way. It progressed very rapidly from there, catching everyone by surprise. By 6:30/7 the nitrous gas was no longer doing anything for her, not that it did much at any time. Fortunately salvation in the form of the epidural arrived in the nick of time and she was able to get some rest and gather her strength. By 10 Mrs Guy was ready to go, but due to the baby being large and in a posterior position, the head would not come down in to the pelvis and therefore she couldn't begin to push. By 11:30 the doctors had persuaded us (and we needed little persuasion :) ) that the baby was simply never going to come down and a C-section would be needed.

A very nervous Mrs Guy was wheeled in to the theatre, followed by an equally nervous Plainclothes. The staff were professionalism itself however and at 12:40 pm our son James was born weighing an impressive 9 pounds and 9 ounces. There was 20 or so very anxious seconds while the nurses worked to get his first breath going...and sweet Jaysus didn't it seem like an hour....but soon enough James gathered himself and let out a bellow of outrage and it was smiles and tears all round. Now I MAY have cried at this point...but I wouldn't be believing every vicious rumour you hear, if I were you.

Mrs Guy was wheeled to post-op while a shakey legged father accompanied James to his room. Soon enough we were all together and James was setting records for feeding. :)

A long, long day and one we will never forget.

Back in the harness.

2006-12-07T17:39:00.000-11:00

Well, did the final series of interviews and tests today for the Air Force....and got "strongly recommended" at the end of it. I was stoked!

The Squadron Leader in charge stressed that this is not a guarantee, but he made it plain that unless something utterly unexpected comes up I'll get a letter in 6 weeks or so telling me where and when to start.

There were three (myself included) Intelligence Officer candidates and two Dental Officer ones being interviewed today. I don't know how the others went, but frankly the two girl Dentists impressed me more, by a good margin.

We did the usual bit of giving of a speech about how terrific we are, then a group thing...you know the kind..."You're stranded in the desert and only have x and y for equipment"....that type of thing. Why the military persist with stupid bloody stuff like that I'll never know.

Anyway, once that was done there was more psych tests and finally the 60 minute interview by the Board itself, which was pretty "robust" let me tell you. No beg pardons about the questions they asked me there, but I felt I did okay and must have as I got the nod.

So I am pleased as hell.

Mrs Guy is 3 weeks to go on Monday. She, without question, is the size of a battleship. :) But she has finished work now (phew) and the baby by all reports is healthy and vigorous. I am a little nervous in anticipation of the birth and her suffering, but can't wait to see my son or daughter at the end.

Pistol competition

2006-10-27T15:14:00.000-11:00

So the Police and Fire Games are currently running in Canberra. My family and some work colleagues have been in my ear for a while to enter the Service Pistol competition...and so...I did.

I trained for a couple of months at the range as much as I could fit in and around my investigations. So I probably lifted my average weekly amount of rounds fired...say 100 odd to 6 or 7 hundred a week and those rounds were tightly focused on the format of the competition itself.

So I competed yesterday and...won with a score of 573 out of a possible 660. :D

I was pretty happy with how I shot and all in all, I don't think I could have shot much better. There was one or two shots that the instant I stroked the trigger I knew I'd fluffed it...but no, all things considered I was pleased.

Best of all, I will be going to the World Police and Fire Games and compete in the Pistol shooting there too. Unfortunately for my dreams of exotic locales...the 2007 World Games are in Adelaide, which is probably the sleepiest city in all of Australia. But that does mean that Mrs Plainclothes and the new bub can come along to cheer me on. We'll make a little trip out of it....

Speaking of Mrs Plainclothes...she is 31 weeks now. Pretty bloody big too. LOL! She is uncomfortable most of the time, but is healthy and happy. She has 5 more weeks of work to go, then she goes on maternity leave until Feb 2008. She turns...well, she has A birthday on Monday and so I'll be taking her out to dinner tonight.

Work is work. We've started getting some new guys on the floor with apparently more to come....but as I said earlier it takes time to build these guys to be trusted to do anything. We've had some good fun jobs in the last couple of months. I've had a couple of quiet approaches to internally transfer to another area of investigations (ahem) but in the end said no. Still, I'd like to leave the Squad for a bit to better look after the new bub. I am hoping/planning to take 6 months of Long Service Leave at half pay when the baby is 12 months old and the Mrs goes back to work.

Oh and lastly, the Air Force final interview is either November or December, they haven't decided as yet. We'll see soon enough. :D

Holidays baby!

2006-09-22T13:49:00.000-11:00

Well...fuck. After working 13 of the last 14 days and some long shifts in that too, in 4 hours I am on two weeks leave. I've been acting as the Sgt for the last two weeks while the normal Sgt is away and if I do say so myself, haven't screwed the pooch. He's back the day after tomorrow.

The instant I knock off (finish work), my mobile phone is getting turned off and shoved under the mattress, not to return. Monday I take my wife and the cat up the coast to a holiday place her family has. It's a dinky little apartment in a sea side holiday place, but the beaches and relaxation is just fine. The place hasn't been redecorated since...oh...1976 I'd say. It's like a museum of crappy furniture and appliances. Every little cupboard contains something that you would normally see in a museum nowadays like a vaccuum cleaner that you have to carry over one shoulder. What were they thinking....were there no wheels in 1976? :)

Mrs Plainclothes guy is 6.5 months preganant now. She is pretty big now, but looks great. She has been very careful on what she eats to ensure she is healthy and hasn't so much as touched a drop of alcohol the whole time, which is better than I could do.

Well that wasn't so bad.

2006-08-31T04:12:00.000-11:00

Had the Air Force medical/psych and interview today. Went very well and they'll recommend me to go to the final interview in the next few months.

The female officer who interviewed me also said that since I'd left the ADF they've introduced this new scheme where ex-NCOs who have gotten out and got a degree then gotten back in can apply for an O-2 on graduation, rather than an O-1. I'd not heard of that, but she said I was the person they had in mind when they started the scheme. I'll apply, who knows huh?

For those who don't know what O-1/2 are, that means Officer Rank 1 and 2. Just a slang term. The correct terms are "Pilot Officer" (O-1) and "Flying Officer" (O-2). Here is a pdf of the ranks in the ADF, it'll help.

http://www.defence.gov.au/badges_of_rank.cfm

The move is done.

2006-08-22T18:58:00.000-11:00

The move went pretty well. Well as could be expected anyway. Helping the removalists I did manage to put a chest of drawers in the wall and gouge out a hole. The bulging of my wife’s eyes and her herniated, high pitched squeak told me she was unimpressed. I putty-ed it back up and painted it the next day….you couldn’t even see it now.

The house is marvellous. So roomy, quiet and everything we need for an impending family. I’ve met the neighbours already and one couple are retired and the other is a GP and his wife. It’s pretty surreal for a former apartment dweller to be greeted most afternoons getting the mail at the end of the drive. Seems like a small thing, but it was jarring at first. I knew I’d completely sold out to suburban servitude when I caught myself cleaning the pool with one of those fly net things and got a mental picture of myself. My 25 year old self was looking at my 34 year old self and shaking his head saying “Sell out”. :)

My wife is 21 weeks now and BIG. She looks really good…healthy and happy and she hasn’t put on too much or too little weight.

Work has been its usual out of control self. I broke my best ever record for briefs of evidence this week, in fact. A brief of evidence (aka “a brief”) is the whole collection of evidence and documents that I as the investigating case officer hand to the prosecutors (usually after I arrest the crooks) for it to use as the basis for a prosecution in court. Depending on the case it may be a single lever arch folder of stuff, or it may fill a room, it depends. So I completed three briefs in two days this week, a record I hope I do not beat….ever. Two corruption matters and one drug (heroin) matter. I particularly look forward to the corruption ones coming up to court. It’ll be pleasing seeing them try to squirm and explain themselves. After 6 months of investigation, I hope they don’t plead guilty and rob me of that little pleasure.

I applied to the Sgt positions I mentioned. The rumour mill has it there are up to 8 positions and about 44 applicants. I think, if I was to be 100% realistic, that I am an outside chance only with my modest level of seniority. But…I’d be pleasantly surprised if I am wrong. If I don’t get anywhere this time it has been worthwhile already just to get practice in writing the app. For now I will continue as a 2IC (that’s 2nd in command) and potter along.

The Army thing. After a LOT of careful consideration I changed the application to the Air Force, instead of the Army. I am keeping this quiet from my large, hairy Mongo mates still in the Army for fear of being ridiculed basically for the rest of my life. Essentially, the particular thing I want to do as an officer can be done in the Air Force or Army and the Air Force is far more flexible with their training for someone like me who has little spare time and a baby on the way. Also, the Air Force is less concerned with how you give your minimum days a year (32). The Army insists it has to be certain days or weeks of the year and I cannot guarantee that I could do that. The Air Force will negotiate with you to some degree. I have the medical/psych tests next week before a selection panel sometime in November sometime I am told. I’ll try not to cry and wet myself in front of the shrink. :)

The physical training is continuing and has been hard work. I am really strong and my foot speed is excellent, but for weeks now I have been annoying my wife by groaning loud and long as I roll out of bed. Women….they have no sense of humour.

The Army perhaps?

2006-07-18T17:33:00.000-11:00

So we are two weeks more or less away from moving in to the new house. August 5, to be exact. Really looking forward to the new place. The move (or the 1st half of the move if you will) was 13 hours of annoyance. God, is there any way to move house without it causing angst? We got removalists in to do the heavy stuff but for three solid days before hand we packed and stacked boxes. We helped out on the day too (it IS by the hour) and along with Mrs Plainclothes Guy’s in-laws got the place ship shape to hand over to the new owners.

When your mortgage gets paid out and you have the profit from your apartment in a cheque (I won’t say how much) it’s a spin out. Of course, that stays in our bank account for 4 weeks only, then it disappears in to the new mortgage. But it was nice to see that amount of money even for a while.

Mrs Plainclothes Guy is 16 weeks now and really starting to show. Her normal clothes still fit, but by Christ they are under some pressure now! :) It’s pretty exciting to be honest.

I’ve not mentioned this before, but I used to be in the Army. Did 5 years there in the 90s before I left, did some other work for 6 months, then became a copper. I have some good mates still in there, some good memories, but I’d be lying if I said they were all good memories. I was badly injured while a soldier and experienced a lot of frustration with the lifestyle on occasions. By the time I left, I was well ready to go.

But, somehow, I am seriously considering going back, as a Reserve officer cadet. To become an officer takes 4.5 months of training spread over (usually) 18 to 24 months, but you can take as long as 36, the pace is up to you. You’re commissioned as a 2nd Lieutenant once that is done. I, more than just about anyone, know there will be times ahead (if I do it) that I will regret the decision. Usually when I am knackered, getting pissed on and covered in mud. But I also know there were large portions of the life I loved and I do miss it a little.

But that’s not my main motivation for doing it. I’ve discussed the “golden child” syndrome here earlier at my (police) work. Those Sgt jobs I mentioned are now open and although I am putting in, I have no great confidence in getting one this time. I am frustrated and annoyed at the way those who play the “suck up” game well, or who have the right mates can slide in front of those (sometimes me) who do not. So this Army thing is mostly…insurance. Yeah, not very patriotic or idealistic but there you are.

If, by the time I am 45 the police have overlooked me a few times and I am frustrated
and have had enough at least with this parallel career I can simply leave and go full time Army for the remainder of my working life. At 45 I will just about be a Major. The money is the Army is hopeless, but what I don’t want to be is a Detective full of bitterness like some I have seen and yet cannot move on from it cause all they know how to do is investigate crooks.

So that’s what I am thinking of doing. I’ve been to the information night and am filling out the application this week. Assuming that is all ok, there’s a testing day, then another testing day (in company with other candidates) and a medical. Then they make or do not make an offer. I’ll just keep poking along for now, see where the process takes me.

On thing the Army and police had ingrained in me is the worth of health and fitness. I train 5 nights a week in various sports and things and without bragging, I am a very fit guy. Thinking on this Army thing I have decided it is not good enough to simply be “very fit” and will now bring myself right up to a hard edge, the 100% mark if you will. I have been at this state twice before in my life getting ready for certain things and it is a long, painful undertaking. Seriously. Getting there takes mountains of effort and this week…I have been feeling EVERY, SINGLE bone and muscle in my body. I am one sore lad. But whomever gets past me on runs and such if I decide to re-join will have to be one quick motherfucker, that much I will be sure of. :)

Moving house.

2006-06-23T01:38:00.000-11:00

Pretty soon I’ll be moving house, Actually, having done the numbers in my head, this is my 6th to last sleep in our apartment that we bought together just after we got engaged in 2001. With Son of Plainclothes Guy on the way (we’re just operating under that assumption for now) it’s prudent to move out of the smallish (but new) flat in the city to a good sized house in the suburbs. It means a longer ride on the motorbike for me to work but greatly reduces my wife’s commute and thereby her stress levels and therefore….mine. :D

So I am looking forward to it. We paid a pretty penny for the place, but it is amazing. We’ll have far more house than furnishings, we’ll have to leave some rooms completely untouched and just fill them up over time as we squirrel away some money. We move out of here in less than a week, spend a month with the father in law while the paperwork on the new place gets done, then in early August we’ll move in there.

I am pretty tired. I have worked some fairly heavy overtime in the last month and to be perfectly frank, it is not going to end any time before Xmas. We are just massively under resourced, not in terms of money, but in terms of experienced investigators. Although our budget keeps increasing every year, I just never seem to see the commensurate rise in staff to match the rise in volume of work. We’re expected to get a few dozen newbies before the end of the year, but tell me…..did you know how to do YOUR job in the first 6 months? Really do it? Yeah, neither did I, and these blokes will be no different. We’ll have to hold their hand for at least 6 months, for the clever ones, and perhaps indefinitely for the thick ones. You’d almost prefer to go without. The embuggerance of training and bringing these guys on when you are so stretched yourself almost makes it not worthwhile….almost.

There are (according to the rumour mill) some Sgt’s jobs coming out for advertisement before Xmas too. I have been acting as a Sgt here and there and I’ll have a try. I am not one of the golden children….blessed be their names….but I am a good D who has never embarrassed the job, never screwed up a file, always run the file as hard as it can be run and there are not that many who can say that where I work. Ahhh….the worst that can happen is they say no and I will be still where I am now. I should be kicking myself in the arse for even trying though, it just means more responsibility along with the more money….and more hours.

So I have a 30th tomorrow to go to. Sigh. I just want to sit at home and watch some football, maybe read the paper in the park. Mrs P. Guy has lost interest too…all she wants is to sleep as the baby knocks her around a lot. She said to me the other week, “If you’d been making elbows all night you’d be tired too”. :D

Australia got through to the Round of 16 in the World (Soccer) Cup. I don’t follow football/soccer normally, but I’ve been crossing my fingers for these guys, they’ve done really well. In my considered opinion, they’ll get murdered by Italy in the Round of 16, but I’d love to be proven wrong.

Personal responsibility

2006-06-11T16:22:00.000-11:00

Funny old trade, this policing. You’d think I’d be this grizzled old cynic by now, not trusting a single soul. Yet somehow I've retained my faith in the 95% of humanity who goes about their business, raises kids, pays taxes etc. About the worst crime they’ve committed is to speed here and there, or maybe walk against the pedestrian light. The kind of stuff that damn near isn’t even worth telling people off about, let alone issuing a fine. These people I still know are the vast majority and it makes me pleased to know this is the case. I call them “civs” or “citizens”.

Then…there are the rest, whom I refer to (when in polite company) as “players”. I have many other names for them when among friends. And they are the most despicable, loathsome, self centred bunch you could imagine. I know they exist and the moment I have sized you up as one, then it is in to the “player” basket you go, rarely to return.

See, a player is the bloke who doesn’t give a flying fuck about what he does to those around him, as long as he gets his. Nor does he care what it takes to get him off the hook once fronted by me. He’ll cry, he’ll flat out lie to your face even when it’s laughingly obvious it was him, he’ll accuse you of being a racist or a homophobe, he’ll blame others perhaps even other family members, he’ll diminish his responsibility, even make it sound like a shitty childhood justifies his inability to stop raping people or sticking them up for money. Memo “players”: Many, many people have had shitty childhoods – almost all of them of don’t rob the convenience store and shoot at cops. They choose not to use their poor start in life as a crutch.

So my point is this: Player or non-player, you (and I) know who you are within ten seconds of meeting each other. Do me the common courtesy of acting like what you are, rather than dressing up like the decent person you just traumatized and being holier than thou. I have more time for “professional” crooks who will simply tell me they’ve nothing to say until the solicitor arrives, or simply confesses than the guy who says the bitch had it coming because she couldn’t get the kids to shut up or the eggs were not good. I’ve been at this for some time now sport, don’t insult me by trying to justify what you did…

On a lighter note, probably some of the funniest times in my life have been on this job. Some I could never tell you about as…well…to really “get” the joke you had to be there and really understand that cops deflect trauma with humour. But that said, one day a few years I was involved in a pretty nasty incident that doesn’t need to be detailed here. But the job insisted on psychiatric debriefings for those of us involved in it. None of felt we needed it, but along we went anyway after being threatened with heinous retribution if we did not attend.

So after an hour of the earnest young shrink trying to get us to “talk about our feelings” and “share with the group” we’d handed up precisely nothing about much at all. She was a nice young lady, but come on….asking cops to discuss “their feelings”? Poor choice of attack on THAT demographic.

So after a while she, in desperation, asks if anyone is drinking lots now some two weeks later. One guy says “Well yes, I am. I’m drinking all the bloody time”. Encouraged, she leans forward and says “Yes?”. “Minds you” he says “I drank shit tins before too, does that mean anything?”.

:D

And so we begin....

2006-06-09T19:32:00.001-11:00

I have sat here for a full five minutes thinking about all the topics I'd like to discuss, then weighed that up against the ones I know will get my arse kicked if I talk too much about them and get found out at work. So...I'll start with a bit about me, then maybe move on to one or two of my hobby horses. Sort of edge my way in to that hot bath, if you will.

I am a 34 year old man and am married to a teacher. We have a pretty fine marriage. Our first child is due in January, which after more than a year of trying we are just delighted about. It's pretty intimidating, the prospect of a son or daughter coming along to change everything you know, but thrilling too.

I am a police detective. I won't say where and with who as my anonymity may well be important in time to come, but I have been a cop for 7 years. Not all of that I have been a "D" for. Some of it I was a trainer, a police marksman and I've done some other stuff. I work general crime, which is to say, I may get a drug investigation, a fraud one, a crime of violence, pretty much the entire gamut of criminality and I won't know until it lands on my desk. I am a generalist investigator with no particular specialty in any one area....except maybe large scale fraud or corruption work, I've done lots of that. I am on the cusp of being promoted permanently to being a supervisor. I frequently act in that capacity. 90% of the time I am happy enough with the work. That's not to say I haven't had shitty days and even some awful ones. More on that later. But, largely, I am content enough. So what do I want to say? Sigh...I don't how far I can go or what it is exactly I wish to say.

Burnout, there’s a topic I want to talk about. Since I joined there has been a huge increase in terms of work expected of us, both in terms of sheer volume and diversity/complexity. We regularly do work now with a mere handful or less that when I joined was cause for an entire floor to be cleared to get it done. That wouldn’t be so bad if we were recruiting strongly, but…we are not. In fact, the number of police officers has gently slid backwards while the amount of non-police staff has increased. Somebody…please…explain to me how the boss’s new 19 year old secretary can wrap up a complex drug investigation and yet we continue to tell the public that we are growing to meet the new demands. Yes, we are, but only if you count everyone withOUT a badge. Non-police staff have a place and are nice people, but how is it that we haven’t, until recently, recruited for nearly three years and yet we’ve got a multi fold increase in funding?

Sometimes I look around my floor and see me, one or two others and maybe an overworked IT guy instead of the dozens of detectives that should be there. It’s a disgrace.

So, naturally, we are seeing these guys who finally get developed to the point of being a good “D” just getting jack of never getting a day off and leaving right around the time they are really starting to produce for the job. Recruiting every three years? Give me a break.

Ok, that’s my first rant. :D

I’ll post more when it comes to me, but this won’t always be negative. There are many things about the job that are funny or inspiring and I’ll try to talk about them too.

Plainclothes guy.